Steffie Can't Come Out to Play by Fran Arrick

It's like Kill Bill, except somehow way, way darker. The climax involves Shannon wielding her sword like a maniac, slicing open anything that comes in her path. But Steve and his dad are determined to see that this young vixen won't go unpunished. Since Steve was never really kidnapped, but rather with Shannon of his own horny volition, it looks like the evil teen isn't going to face any consequences. The kidnapping plot ultimately fails, but not before Steve's mom drops dead of a heart attack after receiving what she thinks is her son's severed finger in the mail.

And I just realized that I wrote those words in a totally non-joke form.

Bored while waiting for the ransom money (which she doesn't want anyway), Shannon spends her time banging Steve and the other three accomplices in between bouts of killing mice with a samurai sword (which also doubles as her sex toy). After quasi-kidnapping Steve, the twenty-something son of a wealthy Beverly Hills businessman, Shannon torments his family by mailing them dead body parts stolen from a morgue.

A sixteen-year-old sexpot pushes four young studs into a HEAVY NUMBER.' Which I guess is code for something? I didn't get a special spy ring with the book, so I haven't solved it yet.įor no discernible reason, 16-year-old Shannon uses her apparently irresistible sex appeal to get the adult men in her life to do completely ridiculous things. From the back cover blurb: 'She call the plays. Heavy Number has very little to do with a hot, fun-loving teen girl, and more to do with a convoluted kidnapping plot that ends in a murderous rampage. When Steffie, a virgin, turns her first trick, the full description of her introduction to sexual intercourse / having sex for money reads, 'It was like being underwater, where you don't hear anything, you don't feel anything.' Because evidently, sex is like playing Marco Polo in a backyard pool.ĭon't let the catchy cover art fool you. In fact, they never even use the word 'sex,' or describe it in any recognizable way. Bubble baths in his luxurious penthouse apartment, dining at upscale restaurants, expensive jewelry, and of course, being decked out in the coolest clothes imaginable are just a taste of what The Life has to offer.įor a cautionary tale about running away from home and ending up a hooker, the book spends an awful lot of time talking about the awesome fashions you get to wear while street walking, and not much about the gross sex you have to have with random strangers. Favor, who's described as 'beautiful' and looking like he 'stepped out of a fashion magazine,' wastes no time in giving the impressionable Steffie the Pretty Woman treatment. But before she can even test out this seemingly misguided hypothesis, Steffie abruptly switches vocational gears after she meets Favor, the handsome pimp hanging out at the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

Steffie Can't Come Out to Play by Fran Arrick